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Friday, August 10, 2012

Oh Goody, Square One Again.

Sometimes life is damned disappointing.  
No, I didn't get the job.

And you know what makes it worse?  Realizing that telling everyone about what was going on in your life was a dumb, dumb idea. 
Because now everyone knows your personal dramas and asks you about them regularly. 


Social media is such a double-edged sword like that.  


When all this drama with our housing situation started I thought it was prudent to tell my friends and family "Hey, we might not be here for much longer, keep us in your thoughts/prayers/meditations because we really need to move ASAP."

But now it feels like I've been publishing our failures for the world to see.  And I'm honestly kicking myself for it.

In some part of my mind I figured Well, the fastest way to tell everyone stuff you want them to know is probably just to post about it on Facebook.  Or them blog about it and post THAT on Facebook.  But then you get people who don't see your posts that often - they may see that you said you were moving at the end of July and then when you see them in August and you are sitting in the same damned spot you were unhappy to be in back in June and they always ask something that feels like nails on your internal chalk board:


"Have you heard back about that job yet?"  or  "So when are you guys actually moving?"  

Beating head against the wall
  And I realize that everyone asking these questions means well and is genuinely curious about what is happening with our move, but when you are returning them the same answers you did two months ago - two months ago when you were convinced that a Costco job transfer to another state would be an easy thing to get done - it's just.... depressing.

The whole situation is beyond frustrating and I feel like I'm sinking into a giant pit of despair.  Not because I didn't get one job, mind you, but because neither Andrew or I can get any traction on what to DO now.  If we move out of state without either of us being employed we will 1- Probably have a hard time finding someone willing to rent to us, and 2- Potentially be setting ourselves up for complete financial devastation.  As miserable as I am, I would feel even worse if we moved up there without jobs and didn't account for the fact that the economy sucks right now and we might totally screw ourselves over if we do make that move.

Plus Fall semester starts for me on the 22nd and that makes me panic even more because the number of classes I'm registered for could vary between 1-3 depending on what my job situation is like in the next month.   So there's that awesome added stress.


So in regards to keeping everyone updated any time Andrew or I get an interview:  I give up.  
I can't expect people to want to actually want to follow a play-by-play of my whining about the same problem over and over again.  And I know now that I need to play my cards closer to my chest with this because there's nothing like trying to explain to everyone that you failed to make you feel the sting of your ineptitude even more.     

You'll hear once we have an official move date and a job lined up.  Until then, just please keep sending good thoughts/prayers/vibes our way when you remember to.  Because we need them more than ever. 
 



3 comments:

  1. Don't worry Abby, you'll land on your feet.

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  2. Love you. That's all. Oh, and I'm still praying for you. <3

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  3. I sure wish you guys the best of everything. As one who helped precipitate your current living situation, I wish it could be different and better. I lived in Seattle for a long time and loved it, mostly, but I really missed the sun.
    I'm wondering if you have considered the Rocky Mountains? The cost of living is low and there are lots of Costcos around here. If this area is anything of interest to you I have empty rooms in my house where you could stay and explore the area.
    Huggs

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