Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Stagnation

Well, it finally happened:  I had to unpack some stuff to use in my kitchen last night.

We are officially moving backwards.  
Whaaa-waaaaa.  
Still no word on jobs.  Andrew isn't doing anything to continue checking with the stores he has applied for and whenever I ask him about it he gets tense and stops talking to me.  I realize that I'm nagging him, but his procrastination on this whole thing (like not asking for letters of recommendations from his bosses until the week he wanted to actually apply for things) is driving me freaking BONKERS.  I don't know how to get him motivated again - at the start of the job hunt he was really proactive and calling stores and telling me every day about some manager he talked to... and now it's all stopped.  I'm not sure if he's getting discouraged or apathetic... might be both.  We really need to support each other right now, but it's getting more and more difficult to communicate with him as my frustration levels increase and his "stop talking when you're upset" response takes over. 

At this point I'm just trying not to panic about all the little things. 
Like: I took school off for the Summer, but I can't take the Fall semester off.  If we end up moving past the beginning of August I could be in big trouble school-wise. I can't even start applying for positions anywhere up North because I don't have my degree finished enough to find an actual librarian job, and if I got another stop-gap job it wouldn't earn us enough income to make a move worthwhile (especially if Andrew got an offer in another city shortly after that). 
If we are still here next month, I need to figure out what to do for the kiddo's 3rd birthday party.
How long will we have to wait before we finally give in and move somewhere locally?  And if we do that, how will we find a lease that isn't so long we might end up penalized if we finally get a chance to move? 

Mentally I've had to go from "GO GO GO!" mode to "OK, now sit here and wait" mode.  And without schoolwork to distract me all I've got to do is sit around an try my best not to think about it all.  

So this is my formal plea to the Universe - PLEASE, LET SOMEONE GIVE ANDREW A JOB ALREADY SO WE CAN GET GOING AND I CAN STOP BEING SUCH A TENSE, CRAZY PERSON! 
Thank you for listening, Universe.  Let me know if I need to save a basket of kittens or a marshland somewhere to make the karma even out. 

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