Saturday, December 4, 2010

Counting My Happy Thoughts

It's been hard for me to think of an appropriate next blog entry after my nephew's death.  I don't want to just change the subject suddenly, nor do I want to keep dwelling on the depressing things I'm going through in my own life right now.  My blatant optimism has been shrouded by pain and annoyance lately, rendering me kind of a grump-fest.  (You try being happy when your neck injury from 8 months ago has put you on disability, your doctor has no idea what's wrong with you so he puts you on quadruple the standard dose of Oxycontin and keeps sending you for neck injections that don't work, and you get screwed over by that same doctor's office on disability paperwork leaving you penniless and using up your cell minutes sobbing at different people over the phone trying to get them to give you the damned money that was due to you a month ago.  I dare you!)  

So, here it goes, my attempt at looking on the bright side:
1- My boyfriend is amazingly supportive.  He's picked up as many extra hours as he can at work and even tried to get a second seasonal job just to help take more of the money stress off of me.  He also doesn't give me crap about the fact that I've watched a ludicrous amount of television (via Netflix) in my drugged-up state.
2 - My daughter is a constant source of sweetness and joy.  There's nothing like her giving me a giant kiss on the mouth when I'm having a painful day laying on the floor.  The other day she gave me a big ol' smack on the lips, then ran over to our tiny Christmas tree and gave it kisses too.  <3!   
3-  I have fantastic friends.  I may not see them that often right now because I'm a drugged-up hermit who can't drive stick shift without pain, but I know they're out there and sometimes they call me and cheer me up.
4 - We are able to live in Santa Barbara - the most beautiful place I've ever lived in - because Andrew's family has been generous enough to let us rent a house from them and all we have to pay is the mortgage (which, 23 years into a 30 year mortgage, isn't a lot).  
5- I want to put "my health" on here, but it seems silly with my neck being as messed up as it is.  The bright side to staying home all the time is that I don't catch colds at the rate I normally do this time of year!  
6- I can cook.  Yummy things.  And I have the kitchen gadgets to do a lot of that cooking without hurting my neck/arm too much.  
7 - None of my friends are snobby enough to be snide about the fact that they're getting cookies for Christmas from us and that's all.  
8 - Skype!  Now I have a reason to comb my hair once in a while!

I'm sure I'll think of more things and add them later.  But for now, at least I've put some happy thoughts out into the universe today - hopefully it will be nice to me in return.  :) 

1 comment:

  1. I think this is the perfect "next post." We still think of you and your family and hope you are feeling better soon. How frustrating to have no answers to put yourself in the right direction for recovery.

    Take care and get lots of slobbery baby kisses.


    The Hunts