Saturday, October 2, 2010

Overwhelming Sadness

Today my brother's son died.  
Just looking at that sentence makes me tear up again.

Dominick Cole Bormann was born on 8-28-10 about 6 weeks early - he was kept in the NICU until last Sunday when he was finally allowed to join his family at home.  This morning, a mere 6 days later, he passed away around 6am, most likely due to complications with his sleep apnea from having been born so early (although there is no official report yet).  
With Mommy in the NICU

With Daddy in the NICU
With Mommy - finally home!

I can't imagine how hard this is on them, especially with three other kids to think about... this tragedy runs deep and will follow them for the rest of their lives.  I'm stuck here in Santa Barbara today feeling totally useless, so here is my attempt to help make their lives easier:

Since I've had a few people ask how they can help, I've created a Paypal donation account for Dominick's Memorial.  The funeral costs will be about $600 and their little family was living on a shoestring budget as it is, so any donation, no matter how small, will be greatly appreciated.  Please click here if you wish to donate something to this fund (it's through PayPal so it's legit!):  

Edit:  An update is available Here 


  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

  2. I can't imagine how hard this must be for the whole family, Abby... :( My thoughts are with your family. What a beautiful baby boy.


  3. I can't even imagine the pain your family is suffering right now. I know there are probably no words to ease your pain, but I will be thinking of you. Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.

  4. This touches me on such a personal level - as you know. I am sending all my love and sympathy.

  5. So sad to hear... what a tragic story. I'm so sorry for your brother and his family and for the sadness you all must be feeling. I can't even imagine how hard this must be. May he rest in peace.

  6. My husband was the deputy who went to this call yesterday morning, talk about a weird really shook him up :(

  7. Hi
    I worked with Lee Ann and she needed that day off to go to the baby shower she was so excited. I am so sorry for your loss I have a four year old he drives me crazy but I can't imagine him not here.
    My blessings to you all
    Melissa B.

  8. so you've raised $ 120 so far.

  9. we are so sorry for your lose and we pray for you and your family

  10. Where is this family located? I'd like top donate, but am weary of anything online. I'd rather send a donation straight to their home, or yours...
    Friend of the greenleaf family,

  11. thank you all for your thoughts and sympathy. for those of you that do not know, I am the father of Dominick Cole Bormann. A word of advice to anybody who does or may have a baby in the NICU, be patient. Make sure your child is 100% before they come home so that hopefully you will not have to experience the same tradgedy that we are.

    Jon Bormann

  12. Hi Paulette,
    If you'd like to send me a private message my email is - from there I can give you an address but I'd rather not post it on the blog. Thank you so much for your kindness!

  13. My thoughts, love and prayers are with you all.

    Uncle Fred

  14. The kids and I want to offer our sincere condolances. We have been praying for you guys. Let us know if there's any way we can help. Just let your Mom (Carol) know. She knows how to get ahold of us. All our Love, Cousin Suzy, Jedzina & Anthony.

  15. It just so happened that your Mom and Dad (grandma and grandpa) were at my house for dinner when they received the phone call that little baby Dominick had been born early.....we were all elated! That little "angel" had such a hard time while he was here.. We will miss getting to know him. Our love and prayers continue for you. We love you. Aunt Vic and Steve

  16. There are few words to describe the suffocating sense of loss. You know how we feel and the pain we're experiencing alongside you. We'd both take the pain from you if we could. Because of my strong Faith I KNOW in my soul that he is with Jesus and is no longer suffering but happy and whole, and I am comforted by that. However we're still left here to deal with the reality of the pain and loss and so we press on and I'm especially grateful for the blessing of the 3 girls and the joy they bring. You know that whatever you need, we're here for you. We love you all so very much...consider yourself hugged. Jon, keep journaling and's a good release for the soul.
    XOXO, Mom & Dad Bormann

  17. We are so stunned by this news. I can't imagine the burden of such a loss. We cry with you. Abby, how sweet of you to turn your 'stuck' into a blessing. Thank you for this. We will be sending some help either by mail or through your site. With grief and love, Uncle Don & Aunt Lou

  18. thank you all for your continuing support. we need it. not quite sure where to go from here. just taking it day by day. this is one of those things that you just hear about. you never think it will happen to. i just want to wake up.
    Jon Bormann

  19. Borman Family

    My love prayers are with you ... I found the following two quotes I thought were appropriate:

    The death of a baby is like a stone cast into the stillness of a quiet pool;
    the concentric ripples of despair sweep out in all directions,
    affecting many, many people.
    --De Frain, 1991
    Death is not extinguishing the light; it is putting out the lamp because dawn has come.
    --Rabindranath Tagore

    Pam Golden

  20. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss my prayers are with you both and your family

    Michelle from Crestline

  21. Oh Jon, I am so so sorry for your loss. I wish I had words to comfort you, and Rachel, and your family...I am going to send something to you at SV, and I want to make sure that your sister is able to come down to the Service to be of comfort to you & Rachel & the kids.
    Jon, please send me your number & address, ( so I can bring meals to you. This way Rachel has one less thing to worry about.
    Again, I am so very sorry to hear about Dominick.
    Bonnie, Robby, Colby, Autumn and Robert

  22. I'm very sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with your family.

  23. In times like these, the right words are hard to come by. Just know we're hugging you in our hearts, thoughts and prayers, when the pain is too deep for words.
    With deepest sympathy, love,and prayers to surround you in the days ahead.

    aunt alice & uncle jim

  24. Jon
    I am so sorry for your lost. My families hearts and warmth wishes are with you during your time of grieving.

    With deepest sympathy and love.

    Lynne from New Hampshire

  25. Dear Joh and Rachel,
    We are so very saddened to learn of little Dominick's death. We know how devastated you are and that no words or actions on our part can comprehend what you are going through right now. Do know that we continue to hold you up in prayer to our Heavenly Father that you will allow Him to give you strength and courage during these most difficult days, that His love will surround you, and that He will grant you some measure of peace that only He can give, and that acceptance and understanding of your tragedy will come in time.

    In the meantime, take comfort in the support of your family and friends that are there for you, and in a God who cries with you (He saw his own Son tortured and killed on a cross!) and who cares about you deeply.

    Please do not let this tragedy tear you apart as a family. Hold each other close and throw your lives and love into caring for those three beautiful daughters that you are still blessed to have with you.

    Abby - thank you for your words and for using your blog for Jon and Rachel. I came across the following words this weekend when visiting Grandma Bormann, at a little service we took her to. They seem appropriate to share here:

    "Like an ant on a stick both ends of which are burning, I go to and fro without knowing what to do and in great despair. Like the inescapable shadow that follows me, the dead weight of sin (all evil in this world, including death) haunts me. Graciously look upon me. Your love is my refuge. Amen."

    If Great Grandma Bormann was able to express herself clearly, I know she would be sending her deepest sympathy and understanding as well. She and Gt Grandpa Bormann lost a son one year before I was born. He was stillborn and I remember her telling what a terribly painful experience it was for them!

    With love and prayers,

    Aunt Chris and Uncle Ralph

  26. Jon,

    Ed and I were so saddened to hear of your loss. There is nothing in life that can prepare you for this and no amount of spoken sympathy will ease your grief. That is for time alone and we understand that. All we can do is offer our constant thoughts and prayers for you, your wife and family.

    The Bellantes
    Ed, Dawn, Patrick and Joey

  27. Jon, I am so sorry for your loss!

    Love and sympathy from Argentina.

  28. Im sorry to hear about your loss, my prayers are with you and your family.. from argentina

  29. Love and Prayers to your family from Ours...hugs from kisses from Long Island NY.

    We will continue to pray for you.

    Love Douglas, Janine, Alexa and Marisa Welch
    East Rockaway, NY

  30. Jon Rachael and Family
    I am so sorry for the loss of your precious Prayer is that you feel the support and love of everyone around you and find comfort in it. I will get with Bonnie and see how we can help.
    Love april jed & family

  31. Jon and family,
    I am so so sorry for the loss of your beautiful baby boy. I hope that you will find comfort in knowing that my thoughts and prayers, along with many others', are with you, and I pray that God will give you strength in these hard times.

    Morgan Breazile

  32. Jon and Family,
    I am so sorry for your loss. My prayers, and thoughts are with you, and the family. This is Bonnie's sister from NH.

    Shannon and Family from New Hampshire.

  33. Jon,
    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss,
    My thoughts and prayers are with you and with your family

    Gabby (Peru)

  34. Jon and Family,

    Looks like it has all been said. You can see by all the posts that people are thinking of you in this time of sorrow. May you find Peace in the days to come, but never forget this, Dominick Cole will always be with you! Peace be with you.


  35. I have found this blog late =[ im so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine. My heart breaks for your family. I can only hope you have become a stronger unit. God Bless you